Being the bigger person is a very trying thing sometimes. It's even harder when you know you're the person in the right.
Despite being the person in the right (without a doubt in my mind) I'm very proud that today, I was the bigger person. My fiance has the most invasive, up in your business family members I've ever encountered in human kind. They're basically the human versions of that really annoying dog at a dog park. You know the one. The one that has his nose so far up the other dogs behinds that they cannot possibly enjoy their time there. The one that leaves your normally happy dog edgy and snippy. That is them. And... Color me snippy.
Routinely they have inquired with my better half about entirely incorrect rumors regarding my life. My ex husband having my oldest two children at the moment, somehow translated into child welfare services removing them from me. Are you joking? My stating that I'd like a beer and barbecue food, with good friends, translated into suddenly having a drinking problem. My stating that I had it up to my eyeballs with illiterate classmates, somehow translated into me calling his family illiterate. Whatever the case is, the translations are always incorrect, albeit sometimes amusing. Assumptions. God love 'em.
The unfortunate part? By and large, I really do enjoy his family. His grandmother is the sweetest woman I've ever met. She has hilarious personality quirks, and we often tell her we're kidnapping her all for ourselves. His grandfather is probably the most misunderstood man in the entire family, but it's hard to have a problem with an aging man that turns to putty over his Maltese. In fact, I don't know how many people that have spent any time around him one on one, could really have a truly bad thing to say. I will fully admit, I do not like his dogs. I don't like when dogs bark incessantly. But that isn't a reflection upon him. He, is not a yapping 10 pound dog. He, is the man who is absolutely ga-ga over my almost 2 month old son's every facial expression.
Given this fact, it was absolutely, completely uncalled for, entirely ridiculous, and wholly incorrect that one of my fiance's family members attack me on social media. Attacked for being a "loser" that was talking "shit" on those two family members. They attacked me on a posting of a video of my son cooing, and smiling. A happy post. No negativity. Color me confused. Color me annoyed. Here we go again, what is the story they've made up THIS time?
First off, there is a time and a place for accusations. Personal messages. Phone calls. Visits. Not inflammatory comments on unrelated, happy posts, that leave an entire circle of friends and sisters wondering exactly what lunatics my son and I are regularly being subjected to, and if I need another place to escape to.
Second off, why are my fiance's family members so desperately looking for a fight with me over assumptions? Some would say they lack interesting interactions in their daily lives and forgot how to turn on a soap opera. They could be correct. I don't know. But I wont make that assumption. The assumption I AM making, is given the amount of times they've assumed incorrectly, and questioned as a result, and have now accosted incorrectly, followed by questioning my fiance after the fact to see what MY problem is? THEY obviously have a problem with me. Color me not surprised.
This is where I was the bigger person. I could have called this person a daft bitch for her behavior. I didn't. That's not very polite, nor adult. And I was quite irate, as I'm being perpetually subjected to this... So my not calling her a daft bitch, says something.
I just plainly stated I would be addressing the people I permit to read my social media in light of the immature behavior that had taken place, again, on a video of my SON, SMILING.
That I had no room for drama mongers. I did after all, graduate high school 14 years ago.
And that we were all entitled to opinions. Oh fuck. I probably shouldn't have said that. It'll be taken that I'm hunting unicorns with the help of a harpy.
I don't ask people to agree with me. Never have. I don't ask people to like me. I have plenty of people who love me, so it's truly not necessary. But if you didn't like me, and wont even attempt to be civil with me, I think it's fair to request that people like that please delete their ability to view said media.
Wouldn't you know it. I was deleted. Color me oddly satisfied.
I'm not surprised. In fact, I'm glad. It was one less person that I blocked from having even the ability to see photos of my son. I should not be having to handle "family" in this manner to avoid accusation and accosting, simply because they're insane enough to genuinely think if I hate the volume of the ever present neighborhood ice cream truck's song, that I hate my fiance's grandfather. I might add: that man hates that blasted truck too.
Turns out though.. sometimes being the bigger person requires removing yourself from the dramatic equation (that you never asked to be part of,) by any means possible, rather than telling them to kindly fuck off. This meant abandoning that form of social media in it's entirety; simply because my fiance's family is large, and have multiple cronies. It all gets back to someone, because they clearly lack other hobbies. (There ARE photography, crochet, scrapbooking and so many other options out there, besides making Erry's life hell. I'm serious. Lots of options!) It means opting not to converse with the family in any way for fear that if I say the weather has been improving, I might want to kill kittens in their world... All of this ridiculousness, for no other reason, than I happened to fall in love with a man with a family that likes to meddle, and assume, when they have no place. Color me done.
However... Being the bigger person requires not pointing this out. Being the bigger person requires not telling them they're all complete loons by trying to make unrelated things fit their guilty consciences and preconceived notions.
Being the bigger person requires I bite my tongue, simply to save my fiance endless complaints. I am a redhead leo female, an alpha personality, and I am a sleep deprived mother. Biting my tongue is HARD. (read: next to impossible.)
Simply put: Being the bigger person really sucks when I know I'm right. It goes against every urge I have. But there's an odd satisfaction in knowing people ten and more years my senior, are so worried about MY little opinion, when I'm not even related. Color me special. And relieved that even when my internal self is giving people the finger, my edit filter can in fact work, and allow me to be the bigger person.
Maturity. It's a lovely thing.
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